Let me venture so far as to say something about the compatibility of guys and girls.
A lot of it is well-known these days, but let me just summarize anyway:
GUYS:
Black and white, logical thinking
Talk to get to the issue and solve it
Provide advice on how to fix problems
Are attracted firstly to external beauty and then to the type of man that the girl allows him to become
GIRLS:
Intertwined, spaghetti-like emotional thinking
Talk to process emotions and for the therapeutic effect of relating
Seek to make a person feel understood and cared for
Are attracted firstly to persona (be it competence, humor, or status) and then that in turn feeds the physical attraction.
Having an understanding of these things allows us to tick the boxes that our partner's needs leave empty and square-shaped. But there seems like there's more going on here, and I'm just gonna throw out my perspective about it:
Girls were made to be helping nurturers, and guys were made to be leaders.
Now let's not get too upset please guys...just yet.
Of course females can be great leaders too, and in fact are! And guys can be epic caring people (I am a work from home dad myself!)
But a girl looks up to a guy who knows who he is, is firm when it comes to defending the things that he believes to be precious (both his family, as well as things like values and aspirations). Girls like solidity with an element of let's say mystery, spontaneity, vigor. Girls like to know they can depend on their guy...but not depend on him to be boring.
Guys like a girl who is a giver. Who finds true joy in the joy of others. Who spreads that particular brand of female love everywhere she goes. Yes attractive, yes exciting. But the sexual appeal that attracts is not composed at all of the same elements that keep a couple together. (Why things are set up this way doesn't quite make sense to me, but it is so).
Making a relationship work is a choice. I don't believe in the fairytale "The One". Why do the Disney movies always end when the princess marries the prince or whatever? It's created the misconception that all that is needed for "living happily ever after" is someone to marry.
No, that risk, that flattering feeling that you are the one chosen, the mysterious butterflies and thirst for the other person do fade.
But Love is a choice.
It's a mutual consensus that the grass may be greener on the other side, but that's cos of all the manure over there. It's a decision to take what has been given you and work on yourself and relationship to make it what you need it to be. Become the type of person who will attract the type of person you wanna attract...if you know what I mean.
In the age of drive-through everything, there are no drive-through break-through, nor are there instant contentment pills (or not the lasting type anyway). Ironically it is in giving yourself away that you make yourself happy.
Empty your bucket to have it filled. And get shoveling that manure!
A lot of it is well-known these days, but let me just summarize anyway:
GUYS:
Black and white, logical thinking
Talk to get to the issue and solve it
Provide advice on how to fix problems
Are attracted firstly to external beauty and then to the type of man that the girl allows him to become
GIRLS:
Intertwined, spaghetti-like emotional thinking
Talk to process emotions and for the therapeutic effect of relating
Seek to make a person feel understood and cared for
Are attracted firstly to persona (be it competence, humor, or status) and then that in turn feeds the physical attraction.
Having an understanding of these things allows us to tick the boxes that our partner's needs leave empty and square-shaped. But there seems like there's more going on here, and I'm just gonna throw out my perspective about it:
Girls were made to be helping nurturers, and guys were made to be leaders.
Now let's not get too upset please guys...just yet.
Of course females can be great leaders too, and in fact are! And guys can be epic caring people (I am a work from home dad myself!)
But a girl looks up to a guy who knows who he is, is firm when it comes to defending the things that he believes to be precious (both his family, as well as things like values and aspirations). Girls like solidity with an element of let's say mystery, spontaneity, vigor. Girls like to know they can depend on their guy...but not depend on him to be boring.
Guys like a girl who is a giver. Who finds true joy in the joy of others. Who spreads that particular brand of female love everywhere she goes. Yes attractive, yes exciting. But the sexual appeal that attracts is not composed at all of the same elements that keep a couple together. (Why things are set up this way doesn't quite make sense to me, but it is so).
Making a relationship work is a choice. I don't believe in the fairytale "The One". Why do the Disney movies always end when the princess marries the prince or whatever? It's created the misconception that all that is needed for "living happily ever after" is someone to marry.
No, that risk, that flattering feeling that you are the one chosen, the mysterious butterflies and thirst for the other person do fade.
But Love is a choice.
It's a mutual consensus that the grass may be greener on the other side, but that's cos of all the manure over there. It's a decision to take what has been given you and work on yourself and relationship to make it what you need it to be. Become the type of person who will attract the type of person you wanna attract...if you know what I mean.
In the age of drive-through everything, there are no drive-through break-through, nor are there instant contentment pills (or not the lasting type anyway). Ironically it is in giving yourself away that you make yourself happy.
Empty your bucket to have it filled. And get shoveling that manure!
