What Having Kids Does to You

Oh the epitome of adulthood, right?

Ok you've worked hard in your youth to:
look good,
achieve good,
in order to find a good mate,
then mate.

And then, yes then you are able to be satisfied as a producing human being.  Taking one for the homosapiens by spawning more dawnings of dreary eyes.

Suddenly your own dreary eyes are greeted by new ones: there is a tiny little podgy morsel waa-ing in a hospital crib and your world is revamped.

Like at first this is sheer blue sky to your clouded existence.
It unites everyone; it give you purpose; it's so helpless...and red.  And cute, podgy, and cute!

And then, yes then...

Come those silly green tubes you have to maneuver formula through to pump life into this morsel.
A  vampirous exchange of energy - your kids for yours.

Then comes the diaper bag jigsaw puzzle, shoving everything in there that may solve a puzzle at a later stage.  You're late...a lot.  No free time.  No.  Free.  Time.

Suddenly a drive alone is a miracle and you remember you are still young.  The music that amped you up as a kid is now a tribute to a time when life was free-er.

Depressing?>

Maybe a bit.  After all, there is such a thing as morsel blues and post-morsel depression.  But I say, and once more I say it, BUT:

Then comes the renewed perspective on everything, yes everything!

Then comes the humility, the patience (which isn't much fun earning but well worth having), the one-toothed smiles that melt your heart, the first time your child learns something that you taught them!

And then, yes then

You realize that they have been teaching you all along.

Wisdom of the World (Part 2) - Insights from a World Traveler on Human Interaction

Something I find helpful about human interaction is knowing that:  like attracts like, and likes doing it.

•      Wanna get passed people's barbed wire defense mechanisms and finally listen to your ideas?
•      Wanna make new buddies all over the jolly well place?
•      Wanna get a date with that stud or hottie?
•      Wanna grow as a person?  Forget the protein shake, this is where it's at:

When people think you have a bunch in common with them, they automatically like you.  Interests, hobbies, curiosities, even fears (and all the other stuff like names of pets and favorite cereal if they're applicable.)

If you focus on similarities instead of differences, you'll like them more too.
(I know this can sometimes mean giving up revered hatred for the neighbors, so I'm sorry for that.)

Practically, this means you can relate to almost anyone.
You experience the same sensations that collectively form the human experience.
You inhale, they inhale.  You exhale, they inhale...wait...ah, you get the point.

When people are no longer afraid to be themselves, a world of possibilities opens.
People have been predisposed since caveman days to be afraid of the New (ie. like in the movie the Croods).  Any worldview or opinions that messes with the way they have chosen to arrange their reality is scary cos it could mean:

1. They were wrong (No one likes to be wrong, fiddlesticks!)
2. They have been climbing up a ladder leaning against the wrong wall

Now I'm not saying we should all sell out and paint fake versions of ourselves that agree with people's self-images.  The saying is as true as it ever has been: "You can please most of the people most of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time."

It's just that:

Peanut butter is nutritious, but kids won't eat it on their own.
Cover it on either side with chocolate, and you've got a best-selling recipe!

Ok, I'm off to share some Reese's!

www.AsleepInEden.com

Wisdom from a World Traveler

Wanna Gain without the Pain?  Go to:
http://www.asleepineden.com/blog/wisdom-from-a-world-traveler/

New Beginnings, New Frontiers

New Year is here!

Bring on the:

Conquered fears and comforted tears. Because our smears are forgotten, hopelessness disappears.
Allow Truth to appear and bring your destiny near. Open those blind eyes to see and those deaf ears to hear.
As a generation of pioneers we're revolutionary volunteers, journeying together to mindblowing frontiers.
Spirited prayers followed by wide-open ears lead to upshifted gears and blossoming careers.
We're no more in arrears so share a couple of beers
and a bucket of cheers with your peers and loved dears.

Our Father Who's Art is Heaven

Dad who governs the skies and the lands

You are set apart, like no one else.

Please make Yourself King of my world, the ruler of my life.

Don’t let my silly persona try to dictate how things should go; remind me that’s Your terrain.

Earth is, Heaven is, I am.

Give us what we need to survive please, we know You know.

And I’m sorry for all the ways I mess up, and keep messing up, and falling short of the life You intend for me.

Help me to truly not hold grudges, and to let things go like You do.

Please keep me away from Sin and its tangles; remind me who I am.

You’ve overcome evil – smash it in my life please!

Cos You are the King, the MAN!  You rock, and You rule, You’re ridiculously huge, and magnificently beautiful.

And You always will be.  Forever and ever.

Amen.

NOW vs THE MIDDLE AGES

Middle Ages.  Primitive?

Scenario 1 (2013):  Ahhh, I've got a tooth infection cos I got lazy with brushing my teeth (after all, there are too many other things to do).  I drive to the dentist, who prescribes me antibiotics, and I'm hunky dorey in a week.

Scenario 1 (1413):  Crikey, I've got a tooth infection cos humanity hasn't yet figured out that flouride prevents cavities.  I'm in agony and the doctor decides to drain my veins to let out the bad blood.  It may have been a demonic attack because of my sin.  I'm dead within the week.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Postmodernism.  Advanced?

Scenario 2 (2013):  Consciousness barages me at 5:45am with beeps from my alarm.  I subconsciously tap around on my iPhone to turn it off.  Simultaneously, a myriad of concerns of the upcoming day flood my half-asleep mind.  I snort a goodbye to my family while I bustle out the door, bagel in hand.  I'm running late as traffic encloses me a relentless obstacle around me.  I honk at the guy who's trying to push in.  Someone behind me honks at me.  The audacity!  All the while my emails fill like a boat with a leak in it, perpetually threatening to drown me as I bail out one bucket of a task at a time.  I need sleeping pills to counter the caffeine at night.  Then I wake up to Tuesday.


Scenario 2 (1413):  My favorite rooster's familiar crow alerts me to the blossoming of the first rays of light.  This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it.  I roll over and hold my wife for a little while longer.  As the sun gets stronger, our family sits together eating boiled eggs before the day's work commences.  My neighbors and I are busy helping Mr Brown harvest his field.  When that is done we'll share the profits and rest.  I've known these guys since I was born and the comradery towards a common purpose is perfect.  Everything has its rightful place in my world; everything is a manifestation of God's plan.  (Even the magical fairies that the Brown children spot periodically).  As the sun dips below the edge of the earth, God has ordained that our work day is to close.  I walk across the field to get back to where my wife and kids have spent their day.  My eyes close in a mysterious peace.  Then I wake to the next day's rays.

Comments:
We tend to think of history as linear - ever progressing onwards towards truth.  Time certainly has eliminated a lot of tragedy from the world.  But in it's process, has it eliminated wisdom?  

www.asleepineden.com

Relating to Others - Scratching Backs instead of Breaking Them

Given that each of us inhabits our own lovely bubble - one that reflects our beautiful selves back to us from the inside - it is a miracle that we manage to get along at all.

Even the words we use are just mutually agreed upon grunts.  But somebody stop me before I launch into the whole "Is the color red you see the same one I do..." rant.

The question is:  How do we get along when we converse, and specifically when we disagree?

What typically happens in a disagreement:

- Each person tries to assert their viewpoint to prove that they have the correct lens.  It's uncomfortable to consider that you may have been wrong all this time.

- The differences in the viewpoints are highlighted, and so a rugged wedge gets inserted between your souls.

- Eg:  "You always rescue the kids instead of letting them learn from their mistakes.  You need to back up and stop trying to fill your need to be needed."

Let's try this instead:

- Make it a practice to explain back to the other person what you understand their main points to be.  Read between the lines only when you're getting confirmation that you're on the right track.  This allows them to feel heard (even if you get it wrong they will appreciate that you are trying), and to clarify misconceptions in focus that arise.

- Look for points of agreement and highlight those, before mentioning the diverging points.  This makes it seem like the conversation is a mutual endeavor as opposed to a survival of the fittest clash.

- Seek to understand before trying to be understood.  That way you will know what the real issue is anyway, and will come across as much more respectful, which induces compliance.  Plus it makes St Francis stoked.

- Eg: "I can see that you care about our kids and just want the best for them.  We both want that and are a team!  When I allow the kids to make their own mistakes, what is it that you think I am trying to accomplish?"

Check it out: typically other people aren't doing things to intentionally upset you.  Their behavior stems from their own coping skills, fears, and entrenched modes of functioning from their families of origin.

Give 'em a break and they'll more than likely scratch your back too, instead of breaking it.